{ "id": "p16022coll97:183", "object": "https://cdm16022.contentdm.oclc.org/utils/getthumbnail/collection/p16022coll97/id/183", "set_spec": "p16022coll97", "collection_name": "Tretter Transgender Oral History Project", "collection_name_s": "Tretter Transgender Oral History Project", "collection_description": "
The Tretter Transgender Oral History Project (TTOHP) collects, preserves, and makes accessible oral histories of gender transgression, especially as theyintersect with race, age, sexuality, citizenship, class, and ability. The project seeks to document the power and vision of trans movements for justice through the stories of activists working to imagine another world.
\n\nThe first phase of the Tretter Transgender Oral History Project was led by poet and activist Andrea Jenkins—who became the first Black transgender woman to serve in office in the US after she was elected, in 2017, to the Minneapolis City Council. This phase of the project sought to document the life stories and experiences of transgender and gender non-conforming people, with a focus on people living in the upper Midwest as well as those often excluded from the historical record, including trans people of color and trans elders.
\n\nThe second phase of the Tretter Transgender Oral History Project is led by trans studies scholar Myrl Beam. This phase of work seeks to document histories of trans activist movements and politics in the US, and is grounded in the belief that trans movements for justice are about more than rights: they are about survival, and about creating a new, more fabulous, more livable, and more expansive world––one not structured by racialized gender norms. The oral histories collected during this phase document the transformative power of trans movements, and the stories of trans activists who are building them.
\n\nFor more about the project, visit: https://www.lib.umn.edu/tretter/transgender-oral-history-project.
", "title": "Interview with Tygra Slarii", "title_s": "Interview with Tygra Slarii", "title_t": "Interview with Tygra Slarii", "title_search": "Interview with Tygra Slarii", "title_sort": "interviewwithtygraslarii", "description": "Tygra Slarii is a Black trans woman from Omaha and Arizona. She discusses her family relationships, talks about her thoughts on the trans community here versus the community in Omaha. She also discusses her different experiences with theater and drag, and the relationship between the drag community and the trans community.", "date_created": [ "2017-01-26" ], "date_created_ss": [ "2017-01-26" ], "date_created_sort": "2017", "creator": [ "Slarii, Tygra" ], "creator_ss": [ "Slarii, Tygra" ], "creator_sort": "slariitygra", "contributor": [ "Jenkins, Andrea (Interviewer)" ], "contributor_ss": [ "Jenkins, Andrea (Interviewer)" ], "notes": "Forms part of the Tretter Transgender Oral History Project, Phase 1.", "types": [ "Moving Image" ], "format": [ "Oral histories | http://vocab.getty.edu/aat/300202595" ], "format_name": [ "Oral histories" ], "dimensions": "0:59:36", "subject": [ "South (United States)", "Southwest (United States)", "Friendship and Community", "Drag", "Black", "Art and Creative Work", "Gender Affirming Care", "Discrimination", "Tretter Transgender Oral History Project Phase 1" ], "subject_ss": [ "South (United States)", "Southwest (United States)", "Friendship and Community", "Drag", "Black", "Art and Creative Work", "Gender Affirming Care", "Discrimination", "Tretter Transgender Oral History Project Phase 1" ], "language": [ "English" ], "city": [ "Minneapolis" ], "state": [ "Minnesota" ], "country": [ "United States" ], "continent": [ "North America" ], "geonames": [ "http://sws.geonames.org/5037657/" ], "parent_collection": "Tretter Transgender Oral History Project", "parent_collection_name": "Tretter Transgender Oral History Project", "contributing_organization": "University of Minnesota Libraries, Jean-Nickolaus Tretter Collection in Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Studies.", "contributing_organization_name": "University of Minnesota Libraries, Jean-Nickolaus Tretter Collection in Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Studies.", "contributing_organization_name_s": "University of Minnesota Libraries, Jean-Nickolaus Tretter Collection in Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Studies.", "contact_information": "University of Minnesota Libraries, Jean-Nickolaus Tretter Collection in Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Studies. 111 Elmer L. Andersen Library, 222 - 21st Avenue South, Minneapolis, MN 55455; https://www.lib.umn.edu/tretter", "fiscal_sponsor": "This project is funded through the generous support of The TAWANI Foundation, Headwaters Foundation and many individual donors.", "local_identifier": [ "tretter414_tohp158" ], "dls_identifier": [ "tretter414_tohp158" ], "rights_statement_uri": "http://rightsstatements.org/vocab/InC-EDU/1.0/", "kaltura_audio": "1_j0wrl0db", "kaltura_video": "1_4cdl74ah", "kaltura_combo_playlist": "0_1r3ckah7", "page_count": 0, "record_type": "primary", "first_viewer_type": "kaltura_combo_playlist", "viewer_type": "kaltura_combo_playlist", "attachment": "149.pdf", "attachment_format": "pdf", "document_type": "item", "featured_collection_order": 999, "date_added": "2018-09-24T00:00:00Z", "date_added_sort": "2018-09-24T00:00:00Z", "date_modified": "2020-05-22T00:00:00Z", "transcription": "Tygra Slarii\nNarrator\nAndrea Jenkins\nInterviewer\nThe Transgender Oral History Project\nTretter Collection in GLBT Studies\nUniversity of Minnesota\nDecember 26, 2017\nThe Transgender Oral History Project of the Upper Midwest will empower individuals to tell their story,\nwhile providing students, historians, and the public with a more rich foundation of primary source\nmaterial about the transgender community. The project is part of the Tretter Collection at the\nUniversity of Minnesota. The archive provides a record of GLBT thought, knowledge and culture for\ncurrent and future generations and is available to students, researchers and members of the public.\nThe Transgender Oral History Project will collect up to 400 hours of oral histories involving 200 to 300\nindividuals over the next three years. Major efforts will be the recruitment of individuals of all ages and\nexperiences, and documenting the work of The Program in Human Sexuality. This project will be led by\nAndrea Jenkins, poet, writer, and trans-activist. Andrea brings years of experience working in\ngovernment, non-profits and LGBT organizations. If you are interested in being involved in this exciting\nproject, please contact Andrea.\nAndrea Jenkins\njenki120@umn.edu\n(612) 625-4379\nTygra Slarii 3\nThe Transgender Oral History Project Tretter Collection in GLBT Studies\nUniversity of Minnesota\n1 Andrea Jenkins -AJ\n2 Tygra Slarii -TS\n3\n4 AJ: So, hello.\n5 TS: Hi.\n6 AJ: My name is Andrea Jenkins I am the oral historian for the Transgender Oral History Project at\n7 the Tretter Collection at the University of Minnesota. Today is December 26, 2017. And I’m\n8 here this morning with Tygra Slarii.\n9 TS: Slar-I.\n10 AJ: Slarii! I’m so sorry.\n11 TS: It’s takes everyone used - to get used to it.\n12 AJ: Yeah, well - I’m going to ask you to repeat your name, state your name, spell your name so we\n13 make sure we get it spelled right and you don’t have my pronunciation to worry about. Also,\n14 Tygra, tell me your gender identity today, your gender identity assigned at birth, and your\n15 pronouns.\n16 TS: Okay. Well, my name is Tygra Trinity Slarii. Tygra spelled T-Y-G-R-A, Slarii spelled S-L-A-R-I-I. My\n17 identity -\n18 AJ: And Trinity is just…T-R-I-N-I-T-Y?\n19 TS: Yup, there you go!\n20 AJ: Okay.\n21 TS: My gender pronouns - well, my gender now is female. I am a trans woman. Assigned at birth, I\n22 was male. What was the other one?\n23 AJ: And your pronoun.\n24 TS: Oh. She, hers, they, them, it.\n25 AJ: Okay. You don’t smack people when they say it?\n26 TS: No, I usually just lead in with shes and hers but when I’m in a more social gathering with people\n27 I use they, them, and it.\n28 AJ: Okay. Cool. Well, thank you. So Tygra, just to kind of get our memory bank flowing a little bit,\n29 can you tell me what your earliest memory in life is? Like, the first thing you remember.\n30 TS: Um, my first thing remember...happened when I was four.\n31 AJ: Okay.\n32 TS: That year of four, I got in to cartoons a lot. And my favorite cartoons at that time were the\n33 Thundercats.\nTygra Slarii 4\nThe Transgender Oral History Project Tretter Collection in GLBT Studies\nUniversity of Minnesota\n1 AJ: Oh, wow.\n2 TS: I was a really big Thundercats fan. That’s actually where my name comes from, because there\n3 was a character on there named Tygra and I wanted to be her.\n4 AJ: Wow. That is so cool.\n5 TS: She was - she embodied everything that was like, that right there, I need to be.\n6 AJ: So who was Tygra? Tell me who Tygra was on the cartoon.\n7 TS: She was like, I think she was second...second...no, she was second in command. And she was\n8 kind of the badass. Like, she didn’t take no lip. Even though it was a cartoon, but she still was\n9 like, really strong, she was there, she was present, she was the only female in the group that I\n10 just focused on, fixated on. She was smart, brilliant, and the fighting moves were of course, top\n11 notch.\n12 AJ: Okay. Was she sexy?\n13 TS: Uh, duh. Her outfit was like this - like, a swimsuit kind of thing that had like, the army belt, and it\n14 had a cross on it, like, it came across the breasts, and she had the gun packs, so like -\n15 AJ: So they were like superheroes, kind of?\n16 TS: Yes, but they were cats.\n17 AJ: But they were cats.\n18 TS: They were cats. And I’m cat lady, of course, so it all fit. Like when I decided to take on a name,\n19 Tygra just seemed fitting.\n20 AJ: Wow. And you actually have cats. They’re pets, or…?\n21 TS: I do. I have two. And a dog, but the cats are - those are my babies. I have a tuxedo cat named\n22 Walter and then I have a Maine Coon, his name is Tiger. Cause I’m vain, so I had to name one of\n23 them after me.\n24 AJ: Okay. Wow. That’s beautiful, thank you. Where did you grow up?\n25 TS: Well, I was born in Omaha, Nebraska. As far as what I know, I spent a couple years there. And\n26 then we moved to Arizona where I finished my upbringing there. And then I attended my senior\n27 year of high school in Omaha, Nebraska. So I did a back and forth kind of thing. But what\n28 brought me back to Omaha was to reconnect with my family. And that’s where I ended up going\n29 to college, and I ended up liking it so I stayed longer.\n30 AJ: That’s cool. So what was it like growing up in Arizona?\n31 TS: Hot.\n32 AJ: Were you in Phoenix, or…?\n33 TS: I lived in Glendale for a little bit.\nTygra Slarii 5\nThe Transgender Oral History Project Tretter Collection in GLBT Studies\nUniversity of Minnesota\nAJ: Glendale. So right outside 1 of Phoenix area?\n2 TS: Yup. And then we moved to Scottsdale. Friendly - Arizona was friendly. At this time of my male\n3 life I was being flamboyantly gay.\n4 AJ: Really, okay.\n5 TS: Very out there. I was very...tight clothing, really eccentric hand movements and voice talking.\n6 AJ: And this was while you’re a young child?\n7 TS: Yup, I was thirteen, all the way up until I was seventeen.\n8 AJ: Wow.\n9 TS: But that’s when it really started to peek, like who I was, when I was thirteen, really started to\n10 peek out. The mannerisms, the loudmouth talking, the sissy in my walk, as you would say, really\n11 started to peek at that point. And of course I got the stares and the hows and the whys but\n12 everyone was pretty - anything that was negative wasn’t said to my face.\n13 AJ: Directly to you.\n14 TS: It was said around me. So like, if I was in a presence of somebody, in a room no one was like, in\n15 my face telling me that you need to die, you’re ugly, or this is a sin, or anything like that. It\n16 wasn’t brought to my attention unless people were like “Hey, someone said such and such\n17 about you,” and I was of the philosophy that if you can’t say it to my face, then it’s none of my\n18 business.\n19 AJ: Yeah. It doesn’t matter, right?\n20 TS: Exactly.\n21 AJ: So you weren’t bullied, and that kind of stuff in school?\n22 TS: No, I didn’t really get the whole bullying side of my identity, which kind of sometimes makes me\n23 not empathetic to a lot of the people in my community, because I didn’t get -\n24 AJ: You didn’t experience it.\n25 TS: I didn’t have that. I wasn’t - I didn’t get tortured, or beat up, there wasn’t things written on my\n26 locker, or you know, aside from that, of course I have my family members who had their nose up\n27 at me or didn’t talk to me or didn’t want me around, but I never got - I needed to kill myself, or\n28 that you should be ashamed of who you were. And coming from a black family, that’s typically\n29 the first installments you get when you come out.\n30 AJ: Yeah.\n31 TS: It’s, you’re a shame to the family. You - this is wrong, this is not who you’re supposed to be, a\n32 strong black man, and you’re a black woman, and, oh, we’re not going to have grandkids now.\n33 But none of that was thrown at me.\n34 AJ: That was not the reality that you had to deal with.\nTygra Slarii 6\nThe Transgender Oral History Project Tretter Collection in GLBT Studies\nUniversity of Minnesota\nTS: I had a very 1 good upbringing.\n2 AJ: Nice.\n3 TS: My parents did love me, and certain people in my family did love me.\n4 AJ: Uh huh. I’m glad to hear that, ‘cause you’re right. I mean, so many trans identified or gender\n5 nonconforming people really do face a lot of discrimination in their families. Let alone outside of\n6 their families. So how many - did you have brothers and sisters?\n7 TS: I have three brothers. I’m the second oldest. So I have an older brother Anthony who’s seven\n8 years and seven months exactly older than me. And then Devonte, he’s a year and two months\n9 younger than me. And then Paris, who’s my twin, he’s five years younger than me.\n10 AJ: And you guys look a lot alike, when you say your twin?\n11 TS: Oh, me and Paris? Yes, we - he’s identical to me. He’s just a little bit darker, but he - that’s my\n12 mini-me.\n13 AJ: Okay. Wow.\n14 TS: He’s the one who I actually, like, latched on to when his upbringing, because, um, not saying\n15 that my mother was a bad mother, but being the second oldest, there were a lot of\n16 responsibilities put on me.\n17 AJ: Sure.\n18 TS: That I didn’t think would be put on me. So I ended up raising my younger brother.\n19 AJ: Did you - so, did you grow up in a household where your mom and dad were intact?\n20 TS: Well, first - I am adopted. My adoptive parents passed. My biological parents were not together,\n21 but I know who they are. So coming to find out that I had this family and coming to meeting this\n22 family and now being around such and such - we’re together now, but...what’s the word I’m\n23 looking for? It was a strange kind of relationship.\n24 AJ: So you have three brothers. Were you guys all adopted together?\n25 TS: No. Shannon had Devonte, Paris, and Anthony. And then me, was on the other side.\n26 AJ: And you were in Arizona. Your adoptive family was in Arizona.\n27 TS: Yes.\n28 AJ: Okay. And then you went back. Your family, is, I assume, in Omaha?\n29 TS: Yes. That’s where my biological family is. And so one of the things is that I moved back there,\n30 and then I stayed with my aunt Theresa, that’s where I finished up my senior year of high school.\n31 Knew of Shannon, who is my biological mother. Started working on that friendship there. That’s\n32 also where my biological father was. And one of my goals is finding him. ‘Cause like, there was\n33 some connection when I was growing up, of knowing who he was, and he was in and out, but\n34 never, like, there enough where I can actually grab that -\nTygra Slarii 7\nThe Transgender Oral History Project Tretter Collection in GLBT Studies\nUniversity of Minnesota\nAJ: 1 Get to know him.\n2 TS: Yes. And then this was my chance to actually get to know this man, and actually ask some\n3 questions, like why weren’t you a part of my life?\n4 AJ: So you were able to meet him?\n5 TS: Yes. His name’s DeWayne. He’s a good man by my standards, and he hasn’t said or done\n6 anything bad to me. I know how him and Shannon’s relationship did not work.\n7 AJ: That happens.\n8 TS: And it didn’t work. But, as far as I’m concerned, like, even when I came out to him as a trans\n9 woman, I didn’t get the whole “That’s not my…” Used pronouns correctly right from there and I\n10 haven’t had any issues.\n11 AJ: That’s awesome. How about your mom? How about Shannon?\n12 TS: She...different story. She, on the other hand, took a while to come around. She wasn’t so on\n13 gear with the whole transition - which there was a part where she still used wrong pronouns and\n14 the wrong identity and the birth name versus, as I would tell her, this is who I am. This is...like,\n15 this is my identity, this is my pronouns, please use the correct - here, say - and then and it was\n16 not facilitated for a couple years, which is different from now. That we’ve like we’ve had a\n17 conversation where I was just like, “Look. You want to be a part of my life? This is what comes\n18 along with a part of my life. Okay, so it’s either we’re gonna use the right pronouns, or you’re\n19 going to call me by what I identify as, or you’re just not going to be in my life.” And I have no\n20 problem cutting people off, and if that’s a tie that I need to break, it’s a tie I need to break.\n21 Which is different from my three younger brothers. My three brothers, not just three - because\n22 they like having a sister.\n23 AJ: Cool! So they’re cool.\n24 TS: They’re cool. I had, like, Paris and Devonte are my overprotective, and Anthony, he’s coming\n25 around, but still respects me.\n26 AJ: Yes.\n27 TS: To not...you know, disrespect me in any way. Actually, he was a relationship that I just repaired\n28 before I moved here. I went and had dinner at his house you know, with him and his wife and\n29 his kids, and we got to talk and hash things out, and leave on a good note, because that was one\n30 of the relationships that I didn’t have. Like, I got the mom, I got my dad, I got my two younger\n31 ones, that was the one that I didn’t have.\n32 AJ: That was kind of out there, huh?\n33 TS: Yeah.\n34 AJ: That’s awesome - well, and that kind of leads into...You actually just moved to Minneapolis.\n35 TS: I did. A week ago.\nTygra Slarii 8\nThe Transgender Oral History Project Tretter Collection in GLBT Studies\nUniversity of Minnesota\n1 AJ: Wow.\n2 TS: Uprooted my life.\n3 AJ: From Omaha.\n4 TS: From Omaha.\n5 AJ: What do you think so far?\n6 TS: It’s colder. It’s colder here. A lot colder.\n7 AJ: Yes it is. A lot colder.\n8 TS: From what I’ve got to see, the community is a lot stronger. And I mean the trans community.\n9 AJ: The...the trans community.\n10 TS: It’s a lot stronger from what I’m used to, and I’m not downing Omaha, Nebraska’s drag scene,\n11 trans community, but it’s just - it’s a lot stronger. There’s a lot more people, more are worried\n12 about politics than about who’s sleeping with who, who may have what STD or whose drugged\n13 or strung out, or who’s escorting or whatever. People here are a little more on the issues. And\n14 that’s nice to see. I’m not saying there’s not people in the Omaha community that don’t want to\n15 fight the power, it’s just a small group, and a small area, so not everyone’s in the same board\n16 here - and then here, walking in, I’m like, okay! All right, Minneapolis, get it together! It’s nice to\n17 just see that no one’s trying to one up the other trans person.\n18 AJ: And cut each other down.\n19 TS: Exactly. Like, it’s not a game. Once you defeat one trans person or date one trans person, or\n20 friends, you don’t elevate yourself on a level to be with a whole ‘nother trans group. We’re all in\n21 the same level. And that’s something that’s - not just happening in the Omaha community, but it\n22 happens in a lot of trans…\n23 AJ: Oh, I think it does. Absolutely.\n24 TS: Communities, everyone wants to be better than the next, which some people are like, “I gotta\n25 get boobs because she has boobs, or I gotta get bigger boobs because she has big boobs.” I’m\n26 like...just…\n27 AJ: Just do you, stay in your lane…\n28 TS: Exactly!\n29 AJ: Well, I’m glad that you’re experiencing Minneapolis that way. I do think some of that exists here\n30 too.\n31 TS: I just haven’t touched it.\n32 AJ: You just haven’t touched it yet. Because people are people no matter where they are in the\n33 world. But I do - I mean, I agree, that there is a very strong sort of politically active trans\n34 community here.\nTygra Slarii 9\nThe Transgender Oral History Project Tretter Collection in GLBT Studies\nUniversity of Minnesota\nTS: I would say brotherhood, sisterhood. That talk of what you hear from other 1 communities, like,\n2 that happen here. Like, when I first came here, and the first time I met you was at the - um…\n3 AJ: The trans equity summit. Yes.\n4 TS: Yes, and that’s the first time I met you. And I walked in and didn’t - there were no, like, who’s\n5 this girl.\n6 AJ: Right. No shade.\n7 TS: Right. I hugged about six or seven people and they were like, oh hi! And I was like...hey! Like, so\n8 like - to get that response, it was just...it was a little overwhelming.\n9 AJ: Oh wow.\n10 TS: Than, to like, to walk in and like, you know, people, A. turn their backs because they don’t know\n11 you or just won’t talk to you because they’re uninterested in what you have going on.\n12 AJ: Wow. Tygra, when did you first realize that you were not the gender you were assigned at birth.\n13 TS: I was twenty-one.\n14 AJ: Really.\n15 TS: And I know everyone - I feel like when people ask that question, they want some story, like, “Oh\n16 my god, when I was younger I just knew!”\n17 AJ: No, I want your - I want your story! There is more than one single story.\n18 TS: I’ve always been - I describe it as, I’ve always been female antics. Like, I’ve always had female\n19 tendencies. I’ve always had woman tendencies. But my brain was going through what I call\n20 moments. Like, I have female moments, that were. Yeah, you is, but your brain still thinks that\n21 you’re a gay man. So it comes off being really flamboyant. And it wasn’t until I was twenty-one,\n22 that’s when I really started getting into, oh, what is trans, what is transitioning, what are\n23 hormones, and that’s when Google, my best friend, was really, like, a hard on information tool\n24 for me. And then I started just researching, but I still wasn’t ready to transition. I still didn’t fully\n25 understand enough to be like, oh. I’m a woman. I was a curious, flamboyant gay male who\n26 didn’t fit in the box that he fit himself into at that time and was questioning who she was. And\n27 that’s kind of where Tygra really took off, ‘cause that’s when I started drag.\n28 AJ: Okay. So you’re a drag performer.\n29 TS: Yeah. So I started doing drag, and that was like, how I lived vicariously.\n30 AJ: Oh, okay.\n31 TS: Through, was Tygra, where I still had Tristan, on this other side, still questioning, still molding,\n32 still not sure, but Tygra got to flourish.\n33 AJ: Right. And live.\n34 TS: And get called - and live, the way that she wanted to, and then those came to a medium when I\nTygra Slarii 10\nThe Transgender Oral History Project Tretter Collection in GLBT Studies\nUniversity of Minnesota\nwas twenty three years old, when I was 1 like. All right.\n2 AJ: It’s time.\n3 TS: It’s time. So that’s when I started to seek out the help that I needed, and now I am exact - I’m\n4 comfortable.\n5 AJ: So did you go to therapy or something?\n6 TS: Yes. I did take the steps of going to therapy, but that wasn’t until...nine months ago.\n7 AJ: Okay.\n8 TS: So like, I lived my life for two years as Tygra, and then I sought out therapy help to start the\n9 hormone process to actually fully embody the woman I am.\n10 AJ: So you’re on hormones.\n11 TS: I am.\n12 AJ: Oh wow.\n13 TS: I am.\n14 AJ: What is that like?\n15 TS: Uh, the first three months are emotional. I can tell you that. My eating habits are the same, I’m\n16 still like the same, but a lot more emotional.\n17 AJ: You didn’t just start eating up everything in the world?\n18 TS: That was me before hormones!\n19 AJ: Oh, okay.\n20 TS: So that - I’m always eating, which now I have to monitor my eating, because I’m also diabetic. I\n21 have to. But I’ve always been one of those people that’s like, “You eating again girl?” Yes, I’m\n22 hungry!\n23 AJ: Don’t clown me!\n24 TS: I’m just a lot more emotional. Things that typically wouldn’t bother me, or I would just let slide,\n25 or - they bother me now.\n26 AJ: So do you cry watching soap operas and stuff?\n27 TS: Yes.\n28 AJ: I know, it’s such a cliche, but it’s real, though, right?\n29 TS: You’re getting all that estrogen! You put that estrogen in your body, and you’re just like...all\n30 right. Supposed to be cool.\n31 AJ: That Tide commercial was so cute!\nTygra Slarii 11\nThe Transgender Oral History Project Tretter Collection in GLBT Studies\nUniversity of Minnesota\nTS: And it’s funny, because I’m sure my boyfriend is just looks at me sometimes 1 and is just\n2 like...come here, baby. Come here.\n3 AJ: Oh, wow. Man. So, twenty one, you first had the realization. Twenty three, everything sort of\n4 came together.\n5 TS: That’s when I was like...just go. It was kind of like an experiment for me at first. I was like, let me\n6 buy a bra.\n7 AJ: Right.\n8 TS: Let me buy some girl clothes. ‘Cause I - like, I had girl clothing - for the show -\n9 AJ: For the show.\n10 TS: But I was like, for just clothes - these are clothes I wear out, I’m not trying to be Lady President\n11 Obama, every day, because that’s how my style is, I wear very - I like my little dresses that, with\n12 the belt and the nice jacket and the hair. That’s who I am.\n13 AJ: So you’re giving them Michelle.\n14 TS: Yes! Like that’s the kind of style that I like to - cause, it’s all how you carry yourself.\n15 AJ: She’s a classy woman.\n16 TS: So I, like, that’s the style I wanted to achieve.\n17 AJ: Yeah.\n18 TS: And the - but I was like, you need some jeans, you need some nice little dresses, you need to -\n19 so I started to play around, and that’s when I was like, okay. We’re going to do this. Every day.\n20 AJ: Who was your drag persona? I mean, like, who do you serve?\n21 TS: Idolize?\n22 AJ: Idolize, or who do you perform on stage, is what I’m trying to say.\n23 TS: I take -\n24 AJ: Like, who do you embody.\n25 TS: I kind of embody Cat Woman. I - like, the way I move on stage, it’s very - I would say elegant, but\n26 she’s like, fierce. Like, her presence - you’re going to be captivated by. So I kind of try to put\n27 people in trances. Like when I do it, like, watch my words, but also watch my hips. Not only\n28 watch my hips, now watch my legs move. Now just watch the legs, now watch my feet move.\n29 ‘Cause I’m a dancer!\n30 AJ: So do you perform, like, Rihanna, or -\n31 TS: I’m a mix girl.\n32 AJ: - Beyonce, or -\nTygra Slarii 12\nThe Transgender Oral History Project Tretter Collection in GLBT Studies\nUniversity of Minnesota\n1 TS: I’m not a -\n2 AJ: J-Lo, or…?\n3 TS: Hm, I’m more of a mix girl, like. I like mixes, so I like four different songs in one song.\n4 AJ: Oh, okay.\n5 TS: So I don’t just like to be like, “Oh, I’mma just do like a three - “\n6 AJ: I’mma just do Jennifer Holiday and that’s it.\n7 TS: Yeah, I can’t do that. So I like to put these mixes together, or I tell somebody to put these mixes\n8 together.\n9 AJ: Okay. So do you - are you a DJ mixer too?\n10 TS: No! But I tell someone to put these mixes together, and I happily will pay them, and that’s pretty\n11 much - I like seven minute, like, mixes.\n12 AJ: Oh, wow. So you’re doing, like, a long -\n13 TS: I’m a dancer! So I’mma give you everything I possibly can, on stage. I like the buildup. So I like it\n14 to be slow, and then I take off that cape, or whatever I got on covering the outfit, and then you\n15 get the whole wha-bam, and I’mma dance for you.\n16 AJ: Oh my goodness. You’re a dancer, I’ve gotta come see you on stage.\n17 TS: I am. Dancing is my life. It’s been a part of my life for a very long time.\n18 AJ: Really. Oh, wow. Modern, hip hop…?\n19 TS: Hip hop, jazz, modern, tap, musical theatre, all of that is my repertoire, and it’s - it was my\n20 escape when I was going through depression.\n21 AJ: Have you been on stage outside of drag?\n22 TS: I have. I did a lot of theater things in Omaha, Nebraska, and there was one showcase called\n23 Broadway Dreams that I was able to be a part of, where they take a lot of the young actors and\n24 dancers and singers and they bring them all to this camp that lasts a week.\n25 AJ: Oh, wow.\n26 TS: And you get to learn from actual Broadway actors and actresses and singers and dancers, kind of\n27 learning the business, and then at the end of that week, you do this whole big showcase.\n28 AJ: Oh, wow.\n29 TS: And it’s…\n30 AJ: So did everyone perform one show together, or everybody did different - their own thing?\n31 TS: It’s one big show together, but we were like, you do pieces. So like, me being a dancer, I don’t\n32 sing. I can sing. I don’t sing, because I don’t think my voice sounds all that pretty. So - like, one of\nTygra Slarii 13\nThe Transgender Oral History Project Tretter Collection in GLBT Studies\nUniversity of Minnesota\nthe dances I did was put it - darn it, what’s the name of that song? 1 We did Aquarius, and then\n2 we did, I think it’s On the Roof? Puttin’ On The Ritz. There it is, that’s what we did. I’m like, what\n3 song is that? And that was a tap one, it was just, everyone, it was like, at least ten or fifteen of\n4 us in each act. But the Broadway performers performed with us, so it wasn’t just us kids by\n5 ourselves. So that’s, like, my first kind of taste of real theater, but like, I was always involved in\n6 high school, and then show choir.\n7 AJ: Community, and…\n8 TS: Mmhmm. Those were all my favorite things.\n9 AJ: Wow. A performer. I love it.\n10 TS: Not so much of my life now. I stay away from theater now.\n11 AJ: Really?\n12 TS: It’s not much of...a fulfilling thing for me. I definitely will help out if I can, if I can offer, but I’m\n13 more, like, drag has just been that hobby that’s fulfilled me in every way that I want to be\n14 fulfilled.\n15 AJ: Sure. But - is it - have you - is it that you’re not involved in theater now because you’re trans,\n16 or…?\n17 TS: Just - it was - it’s just not fulfilling enough.\n18 AJ: ...and you don’t see a role, you don’t see roles for trans people, or…?\n19 TS: I don’t see a lot of roles for trans people. They’re normally casted by cis people.\n20 AJ: How do you feel about that? ‘Cause I know that’s a big thing in Hollywood.\n21 TS: Acting is great. Acting is amazing. But you’re never going to really give off the feeling of a trans\n22 tragedy or a trans epidemic or a trans life if you haven’t lived it.\n23 AJ: Yeah.\n24 TS: So like, you can be a beggar, anyone can be a beggar, not everyone can be a trans woman. Not\n25 everyone can be a trans man. These are not just things you - we decided to pick up and decide\n26 that one day “I want to be a trans woman.” I didn’t wake up and say “I wanna somehow be\n27 depicted by cis white or cis black or cis men and possibly hanged, stabbed, raped, run over,\n28 burned to fire,” like - that wasn’t a life that I was like, okay! This fits me. Let me go ahead and\n29 live it. So how can you live on the screen and act as that when you don’t know what it’s really\n30 like.\n31 AJ: Right. The sacrifices that people make to become who they are.\n32 TS: Yes. And you’re not giving so much of the bad, you’re giving the positive. You’re showing the\n33 happiness, sunshine and daisies of being a trans woman or trans man, not what really it is to be\n34 that person.\n35 AJ: What is it really? Like, what have been some of the challenges that you’ve faced since you’ve\nTygra Slarii 14\nThe Transgender Oral History Project Tretter Collection in GLBT Studies\nUniversity of Minnesota\n1 come out?\n2 TS: It’s mentally frustrating. To - one of the things I’ve had a hard time coming against is body\n3 dysphoria.\n4 AJ: Yeah?\n5 TS: I - I, looking down at my body before hormones and seeking the help, I hated this body.\n6 AJ: Really?\n7 TS: This body was not what I wanted to be. This body is not what I wanted to wake up to. I’m - it’s\n8 nice that people like to say, “Oh, you have nice muscles.” Yeah, but what woman do you see\n9 that you’re attracted to that has nice muscles?\n10 AJ: Sabrina Williams! Have you seen her? That girl is stacked!\n11 TS: She’s stacked. And -\n12 AJ: Everywhere! Arms, abs...\n13 TS: She’s - and for me, but for me, that answer wasn’t good enough.\n14 AJ: Right. No. I hear you.\n15 TS: Because it wasn’t what I wanted.\n16 AJ: It’s you. It’s all about you. Yeah.\n17 TS: Not only that, but dating. I - wanting to have sex.\n18 AJ: Right.\n19 TS: Like, without somebody thinking you’re an escort, or a hooker, or a prostitute, which it’s great if\n20 that’s what you want to do, but not all trans women are like that.\n21 AJ: Right.\n22 TS: And I’m one of those women who’s not like that.\n23 AJ: Right, exactly. You work? You went to school?\n24 TS: I have a full time job, yes, school, work, I’m… I work a 8-5, Monday through Friday, no\n25 weekends, and I enjoy that. I like being full and -- of my body. What’s another thing? I guess one\n26 of the really hardest things is judgment from your outside people. And it’s not just cis society,\n27 it’s in your own community.\n28 AJ: Right. Within the trans community.\n29 TS: I mean the gay community first. Because we get it harshly from the gay community, and then on\n30 top of that we get it from the trans community, so it’s like this tier that just knocks everyone\n31 down. And it’s okay if you don’t understand, but if you don’t try to educate yourself, why waste\n32 my time trying to educate you?\nTygra Slarii 15\nThe Transgender Oral History Project Tretter Collection in GLBT Studies\nUniversity of Minnesota\nAJ: Right. Yeah. Those are some of the challenges. What about with police, or medical 1 institutions?\n2 TS: It’s so nice to be misgendered when you go to the hospital, or...if you’re not made of money and\n3 to get your name legally changed. And those process, like, police, doctor, school, and you can\n4 tell them until you’re blue in the face that you want to be called such and such and such and\n5 such, but you’re always gonna get misgendered. Without that piece of paper that says this is\n6 who I am, so, I guess, like, for me, was misgendering. ‘Cause I don’t have so much of a feminine\n7 voice. It’s pretty masculine. Some days. Depending on which side of the bed I wake up on. So\n8 like, you know, I haven’t had problems with police officers in that way, of getting stopped and\n9 showing my ID, or, you know, they look at it, look at you, look at it, look at you kind of thing? But\n10 definitely, like, in school.\n11 AJ: Yeah.\n12 TS: “Is Tristan here?” Tygra. “But that’s not what’s on here.” Well, I’m telling you. It’s Tygra. “But - “\n13 No, I’m telling you. ‘Cause then, when that happens, what that does, is your peers, who are\n14 sitting in the classroom with you, just heard a name that you don’t identify with, and exactly\n15 when people hear your birth name, that’s exactly what they want to identify you as. They don’t\n16 care about whatever name you else want to go by. They care about that.\n17 AJ: Whatever else you - yeah. They don’t care what they’ve been calling you for the last three years,\n18 now that they heard this -\n19 TS: They get that name - that’s what it is.\n20 AJ: Yeah.\n21 TS: And then that’s a really big stressful part of it, ‘cause that goes into you wanting to hate\n22 yourself. ‘Cause now you’re just like, people don’t validate who I am anymore, just because they\n23 know this name.\n24 AJ: Right.\n25 TS: So it becomes a conflicting…\n26 AJ: What about dating? So do you tell people your identity…? When do you tell people your\n27 identity?\n28 TS: Right off the bat. I have no reason to hide. Like, I went through - I guess you could say I spent my\n29 whole life hiding who Tygra was. I’m done hiding. There’s no reason for me to hide who I am.\n30 You’re not going to get to love these hips, these not-so-birth breasts, this smile, that I guess\n31 lights up a room, then...move on!\n32 AJ: Move on around.\n33 TS: And I’m happy that I found someone who validates the woman that I am and wants to be seen\n34 with me.\n35 AJ: So you’re in a relationship.\n36 TS: I am!\nTygra Slarii 16\nThe Transgender Oral History Project Tretter Collection in GLBT Studies\nUniversity of Minnesota\n1 AJ: Yeah?\n2 TS: His name is Damon Kelsey. He’s my boo boo. Love him. He’s my world, actually.\n3 AJ: How long have you guys been together?\n4 TS: Seven months. So we’re still freshly new. But it’s nice -\n5 AJ: God, I must have met you guys when you first started hanging out!\n6 TS: You did. Cause that - that is, September, I think that was.\n7 AJ: At the wedding?\n8 TS: Oh, no, I wasn’t at the wedding.\n9 AJ: You didn’t come to the wedding.\n10 TS: I didn’t come to the wedding, that’s when we first dating. Oh, Liz and Sean’s?\n11 AJ: ‘Cause I heard about you. He was all enamored, and he...in love, and he told me all about you,\n12 and then we met in September. So you’re right.\n13 TS: Yeah. Cause I was like, wait, we met in September! But you were talking about Damon. Yup. He\n14 walked in my life at the right time. I was just getting out of a relationship where I wasn’t being\n15 validated in, and that’s kind of how relationships go for me, you know, I’m okay with showing\n16 you the male physical Tristan is, but once I started to show the signs of wanting to actually by\n17 myself? They weren’t having it. It just wasn’t meant to be. And I went through nine months of\n18 really hard thinking and really, like, trying to figure out what was going to make me happy,\n19 where did I fit in this world, was I making the right decision on being a trans woman, and going\n20 through the process of wanting to be myself, was it worth it? And I met Damon. And it made,\n21 somewhat, everything a hundred percent. Like there were still things that I was going through\n22 that I was like “Um….” But he saw who Tygra was, and wanted to be around it, and wanted to\n23 love it and nurture it and be a part of his life as well.\n24 AJ: Wow. That’s beautiful.\n25 TS: So. I’m happy.\n26 AJ: So you date men?\n27 TS: I’m pansexual. So I date personalities.\n28 AJ: Okay.\n29 TS: If your personality inflects with mine, then we can talk, we can definitely have a conversation,\n30 dates, and see where that goes. I’ve dated some women in my past, I typically go for lesbians.\n31 AJ: Okay.\n32 TS: But I’ve dated along the spectrum of people.\n33 AJ: So your sexual orientation is pansexual.\nTygra Slarii 17\nThe Transgender Oral History Project Tretter Collection in GLBT Studies\nUniversity of Minnesota\n1 TS: Mmhm.\n2 AJ: What have been some of the various ways that you have identified yourself over time? You’ve\n3 already said you kind of identified as a gay man. A trans woman.\n4 TS: Queer is the new kind of, like, um, identity that’s coming up.\n5 AJ: For you?\n6 TS: For me. And I’m not really understanding the queer society and all that it entails, but there are\n7 some qualities in it that I’ve seen that I’m like...so you’re not, there’s no gender roles, you can\n8 depict to you decide you feel like in the morning.\n9 AJ: Sure.\n10 TS: And I’m learning that that doesn’t devalue my trans identity, it just means that if I want to dress\n11 in baggy pants and a nice shirt, I can do that. If I want to put on my heels one day, and throw\n12 this hair up in a bun and put some makeup on, I can do that. So it kind of, like, throws away that\n13 “You have to fit this mode to be this character,” you’re kind of characterless.\n14 AJ: It explodes the binary notions around gender.\n15 TS: Exactly. And I -\n16 AJ: Male or female, right?\n17 TS: That boggled me. ‘Cause like, I - those traits are taught. Being male and female are taught. Men,\n18 as we’re growing up, we’re told boys don’t play with girl things. We don’t paint our nails. We’re\n19 not supposed to be weak. We’re supposed to be strong. Defend. For the family women, we\n20 were supposed to cook. Be in the kitchen, and, you know, follow the man’s rules, and then being\n21 queer, it’s kind of just like...you be whoever the fuck you want to be. You feel like you want to\n22 have some male-like and female tendencies today? That’s your thing. So that’s comforting. I’m\n23 still not understanding of it one hundred percent, but - I’m happy that that’s there.\n24 AJ: But you rolling.\n25 TS: That that gives a lot more people who still don’t feel a part of a certain community - you have\n26 somewhere to go.\n27 AJ: Yeah. More space. More space for more people. Was there, like, a specific moment or person or\n28 organization that made you say at twenty one, “I think I’m not the right - this is not who I am”?\n29 TS: Hmm. To be honest, there - well, no. There was someone. I don’t typically like to talk about him,\n30 but. My ex. His name’s Brody Bartlett.\n31 AJ: Broodie?\n32 TS: Brody.\n33 AJ: Brody, okay.\n34 TS: Yeah. He was the first trans guy I ever dated. He met me when I was technically Tygra, trying to\nTygra Slarii 18\nThe Transgender Oral History Project Tretter Collection in GLBT Studies\nUniversity of Minnesota\ntransition - like, move my life, trying to figure out who I was. But he saw that 1 woman inside. He\n2 fell for Tristan. But Tygra came kind of down the line. But he was the person who kind of was\n3 like…”You’re trans. I see you. You’re trans.” Like, he told me that - after we had started dating\n4 for a little bit, “I knew you were trans when I met you.” And that kind of, like, threw me, I’m like,\n5 “How the hell did you fucking know I was trans when you met me? That doesn’t make sense,\n6 how did you know?” And he helped and then didn’t help my transition. So. But he was the\n7 person who helped Tygra flourish and get me on the right track.\n8 AJ: Did you ever meet any, like, trans women who were helpful, or…?\n9 TS: Not at that time. Especially in Omaha, there weren’t any.\n10 AJ: Really.\n11 TS: Not to my recollection, there weren’t any.\n12 AJ: Okay, sure. Yeah, I’m sure there are trans women.\n13 TS: Yeah, I’m sure they were somewhere, but they just weren’t part of the community.\n14 AJ: Right, exactly.\n15 TS: And then like, a year down the line, there was - one of my friends, her name’s Charisma, she\n16 started to transition. So I kind of got the firsthand of seeing her transition, because she would\n17 post things and talk about things when she was in shows and hearsay. And then another one of\n18 my friends, Giselle, Giselle Jacobs, she started to transition, so I got to hear that - they gave me\n19 the courage to be like. All right. I can do this. But there wasn’t someone who was like, I would\n20 say, I idolize you, and whatever you are, I just need to be.\n21 AJ: Yeah. I need to be that. So, what is it like being a drag performer, like, what is that world like? Is\n22 everybody trans? I mean, I know the answers to these questions, but I want to hear it from your\n23 perspective.\n24 TS: It’s Hollywood. It’s a Hollywood effect. You start to get a fan base, you start to get people who\n25 like you, they throw money at you. If you’re someone who’s of the - everyone’s good at drag,\n26 but there’s like, kind of like, your stars, and then your sub stars, and - there’s..\n27 AJ: Yeah, supporting actresses.\n28 TS: Yeah, so like, you know, if you’re one of those people who has that hunger to want to achieve,\n29 like, you’ll start to travel, and you get to meet other people, so it’s kind of like the Hollywood\n30 effect, is what I call it. And yes, your typical - a lot of girls who end up doing drag somewhat end\n31 up becoming, realizing that they are trans. Or, if they’re a male performer, who are just,\n32 lesbians, they do male illusionist, and they find out that they’re actually trans. And it’s an\n33 escape, when we - for me it was an escape. I got to actually live the life that I wanted to be for\n34 six to four hours at a time through a weekend. So like, Thursday through Sunday I got to be\n35 Tigra, and that was the most gratifying moments of my life, because I was authentically myself. I\n36 wasn’t like, “Who’s going to see me as a crossdresser?” Or “Who’s going to say something\n37 about, oh, you’re this or you’re this!” No, everyone was surrounded by the same abundance of\nTygra Slarii 19\nThe Transgender Oral History Project Tretter Collection in GLBT Studies\nUniversity of Minnesota\nlove, and we all wanted to be there, we all wanted to achieve, we all wanted to 1 go out there and\n2 make some money, so like...the escape turned into life.\n3 AJ: Do you make good money?\n4 TS: I do make some good moneys.\n5 AJ: Do you think that trans - that drag performers, female illusionist, male - I don’t know how to say,\n6 impersonators, that’s not the language I’m looking for, sort of male..\n7 TS: Performers?\n8 AJ: Performers, are they a part of the trans community in your mind?\n9 TS: No. There’s the drag community. And then the drag community is split up. ‘Cause then you got\n10 your actual drag queens who put on the tons of makeup, and then you got your female\n11 impersonators, who are - want the aesthetic of actually looking like a female but are still boys.\n12 And then you’ve got your showgirls, who - I call the transgirls, or the showgirls. So we’re the girls\n13 who actually are trans women who have ta-tas, and we give you the showgirl effect - burlesque\n14 style. And then you have your male performers, and then your male illusionists. And there’s\n15 always a tit for tat between the drag queens and the trans girls, just like the male performers\n16 and the male illusionists, because there are certain pageants that we can do, there’s certain\n17 events that happen that certain people get invited to who are of the certain culture, and the\n18 others are like, left behind. So there’s always that tit for tat. Which in some communities it may\n19 work, but from what I’ve seen there’s some communities that it just -\n20 AJ: They’re totally separate, huh.\n21 TS: Exactly.\n22 AJ: Wow. That’s interesting, because, you know, personally, I - you know, a lot of my early sort of\n23 mentoring and support and love and family came from within the drag community, even\n24 though many of them only considered themselves to be drag queens or - you know, I mean,\n25 they do their shows at night, but during the day, they were Billy or Bobby or, you know? And\n26 they had no intentions of ever transitioning or becoming or living their lives as women or\n27 anything like that. But I’ve seen - I’ve noticed that many people nowadays really want to\n28 distance themselves from the drag community and kind of equate that it’s not...a part of the\n29 broader trans umbrella, so...I was just curious as to your thoughts.\n30 TS: I think it all goes into like, the aesthetic. If it doesn’t effect their description of what drag should\n31 be, then I don’t want to be a part of it. Their aesthetic is not moding with what they see and feel\n32 it should be. Which is why I don’t call myself a drag performer. I’m a showgirl.\n33 AJ: Showgirl. I love it. Yeah. I’m going to use that language. And you travel?\n34 TS: I do.\n35 AJ: So what kind of shows do you do? Are they, like, in a club where there are many performers, or\n36 do you go and you’re like the only performer?\nTygra Slarii 20\nThe Transgender Oral History Project Tretter Collection in GLBT Studies\nUniversity of Minnesota\nTS: I haven’t been - there’s only been twice I’ve been the only performer, 1 and it’s been at weddings\n2 - there are two weddings that I’ve done that I was - they were just like, we want you to come\n3 and do a couple numbers.\n4 AJ: Oh wow.\n5 TS: Okay! But most of what I do is just in bars. Like, where I’m going to be going in a couple weeks is\n6 Wisconsin, which has a beautiful drag scene. Like, if you ever need to see a drag scene that’s like\n7 sisterhood and loving, that is a drag scene.\n8 AJ: Yeah! Where in Wisconsin?\n9 TS: Um, I’m going to be in Milwaukee, and then I’ll be in Madison. But Milwaukee has a bar called\n10 Hamburger Mary’s.\n11 AJ: Okay.\n12 TS: So it’s like, a dine-in bar so you come to eat, and you get a show. It’s kind of burlesque style, but\n13 you come eat and you do the show and it’s normally just three girls and we all do three numbers\n14 each when we get our coins coins, and from there normally girls get booked down at LaCage,\n15 which is down the street from Hamburger Mary’s, which is actually like, your gay scene bar,\n16 which is huge. It’s fucking huge.\n17 AJ: Wow.\n18 TS: They have two levels, the downstairs is - what the hell do they call it? - well they have a\n19 downstairs, I don’t remember what they call it. And then they have an upstairs on Saturdays\n20 that’s called LaCage, where it’s actually like more sit-down, more relaxed, so if you’re someone\n21 who’s older, you want to go on Saturday nights versus Friday nights, because the young crowd --\n22 AJ: Friday night, turning up.\n23 TS: Yes. All the dancin’ and booty shakin’ and everything around it. So typically what I do is in bars.\n24 AJ: Wow. When are you going? When is this show?\n25 TS: I’ll be there February tenth through the thirteenth. So I’m really excited for that. Every time I go,\n26 I used to hold a title in Madison, I was Miss Five Nightclub Plus -\n27 AJ: Miss…?\n28 TS: Miss Five - Nightclub - Plus. I wasn’t just the queen, I was the plus. They welcomed me with\n29 open arms. Like, I was a girl from Omaha Nebraska, did not know anything about this bar before\n30 I ran, I knew none of these girls before I ran, I just said “I heard about the pageant through the\n31 grapevine,” and was like - I’m going to give that a try. And we drove up, me and my team, we\n32 drove up. I did the pageant, I ended up winning, and - my year as Miss Five Nightclub Plus is by\n33 far one of the - it’s one of like, the epitome, not the epitome but that year I will never forget.\n34 AJ: The pinnacle, huh?\n35 TS: Yes. Because, like, that’s where I was like, my drag has reached a point where I know that I feel\nTygra Slarii 21\nThe Transgender Oral History Project Tretter Collection in GLBT Studies\nUniversity of Minnesota\ngreat about whatever thing I’m doing, and it’s because I was surrounded 1 by so many people\n2 who loved authentically who I was, and my art and saw my hunger and they enjoyed being\n3 around it.\n4 AJ: So - Five is the name of the bar?\n5 TS: Five Nightclub is the name of the bar.\n6 AJ: Oh, okay. And you were Miss Five…\n7 TS: Plus.\n8 AJ: Plus.\n9 TS: I don’t look plus, but I was plus! At that time when I ran for that pageant, I was plus. Not so plus\n10 now. Mama done lost some weight.\n11 AJ: You’re beautiful, honey. I mean, you’re stunning. Have there been times when people have\n12 been either really helpful or really insensitive to you because of your trans identity?\n13 TS: It’s kind of like the thing when people take it and then turn it on themselves. Like, when I first\n14 came out, I was like, “I’m trans.” “Oh, I thought I was trans at one point too.”\n15 AJ: Oh. That hurts.\n16 TS: Great! We’re talking - I’m coming to you and telling you a really big part of my life that I just\n17 discovered, and we’re gonna talk about -\n18 AJ: And you’re turning it around - and making it about you.\n19 TS: Exactly. I got a lot of that, and like, “Why? Like, why would you want to do that to yourself,” or\n20 like, “Why would you want to put yourself in that place. Do you not watch the news?” Yeah, I\n21 watch the news, just like everyone else, but why do I need to live in fear?\n22 AJ: Right, this is who I am. I can’t! I have no other choice, actually.\n23 TS: If - Exactly. It’s like, I’m going crazy inside here trying to be something that I’m not. I’m not a\n24 man. I am a woman, and that needs to reflect in all aspects of my life.\n25 AJ: Right. Exactly.\n26 TS: Those are the two that I mostly got. When it came time for family, they were the most\n27 understanding of it, versus my friends and the community that I was in. Which is - a flip, because\n28 normally it’s the community that’s open and embraces you when you’re not getting it from your\n29 family, but I got it the flip side.\n30 AJ: Were you hanging out in, like - I’m just - black gay space? Like…\n31 TS: Predominantly, in the Omaha community, it’s white.\n32 AJ: Okay. So these were white children saying this.\n33 TS: Yeah. So like, there’s your sunblocks, there’s not - as far as what I know of, there wasn’t another\nTygra Slarii 22\nThe Transgender Oral History Project Tretter Collection in GLBT Studies\nUniversity of Minnesota\ntrans girl that I was friends with or really knew of who was on 1 the same spectrum as me.\n2 Everyone that i knew that was transitioning was of Latina - who were white enough to pass for\n3 white, or they were white. So like -\n4 AJ: And they tried to shade you? These were the people who were like, why, and -\n5 TS: It was the gay men!\n6 AJ: Okay, yeah.\n7 TS: The gay men who were like, “I don’t get it.” And that’s who we mostly get it from, because some\n8 trans girls still like to date gay men.\n9 AJ: Right.\n10 TS: And then once you tell the gay men that I’m woman, it just goes flip flop crazy. Like, what do\n11 you mean? You know, why do you want to be with a man? Why do you want to be with a gay\n12 man? Like, I like what the fuck I like. It is what it is. I was with a gay man for three years, and I\n13 like what the hell I like!\n14 AJ: Wow. So you talked a little bit about medical stuff, but - you know, and feel free to say “I don’t\n15 want to answer this” or not, but you mentioned that you’re on hormones. Have you done any\n16 other medical interventions or do you plan to do any?\n17 TS: I plan on getting these done. Of course.\n18 AJ: So some breaststststs.\n19 TS: Get some breaststststs! I’m - like, A-Cup and I wear fillers right now to give me the kind of, like,\n20 look, that they’re real.\n21 AJ: Mhm. That you desire.\n22 TS: But I want a D. I want a D. I want - not knockers, but I want knock. I don’t want knockers, I want\n23 knock! Not the knockers. I’ve thought about gender reassignment, I’ve played around with the\n24 thought, if that was really going to make me happy or if I’m okay with what I have birthwise,\n25 and...it’s still a toss-up for me, there’s no disadvantages and there’s no advantages to it, really,\n26 cause I’m happy with what my body has. But I have played around with the thought of\n27 “well...this could be another option to be happy as well.” But I’m somebody who also wants\n28 kids. So that weighs in a lot for me, because like, I’m ready for kids now, but I’m not in any\n29 process to like, go get - like, to have them. Like, I’m ready for them, it’s just - the areas of\n30 wanting to make it happen ain’t there. And at some point I’m going to want them. And I know\n31 with being on estrogen that decounts my sperm total, however you want to say it, so like, going\n32 through that and listing that, you know, whenever I want to actually start back, I’m going to\n33 have to go off hormones for three months, to get my sperm count back up to where it needs to\n34 be in order to have said kids. So it’s like, is that - am I okay with fully letting go of that dream of\n35 having kids, or am I wanting to stay?\n36 AJ: You can always freeze your …\nTygra Slarii 23\nThe Transgender Oral History Project Tretter Collection in GLBT Studies\nUniversity of Minnesota\nTS: 1 That is expensive!\n2 AJ: I’m just saying, it’s an option!\n3 TS: That was like the first thing my doctor told me, she was like, well you can freeze, that is\n4 expensive, okay? I get a child is expensive but you want me to do some more money on saving\n5 the sperm to have the child that’s even gonna be more expensive, I’ll just go with Option A.\n6 AJ: Okay! You are crazy!\n7 TS: I’m just saying, if I’m going to end up spending a lot of money, I’d rather spend a lot of money\n8 on the actual child!\n9 AJ: On the child! Right.\n10 TS: When they are present and in front of me, versus keeping them in a bank for three-some years\n11 and then being like “All right!” I’ve been paying $1200 a month for you!\n12 AJ: You better be a good kid!\n13 TS: You better get some good DNA outta you!\n14 AJ: What do you think the agenda is for the transgender community, Tygra? Or, even if there is an\n15 agenda? I don’t know.\n16 TS: I’m not sure if I can speak for the whole entire trans community, but I think for me, visibility is\n17 the biggest thing that I’m not seeing from my trans community. There are strong protesters,\n18 advocates, fighters, who are out there, but there’s only a good hundred of them when that\n19 community is in the thousands and probably in the hundreds of thousands.\n20 AJ: Sure. Hundreds of thousands.\n21 TS: And those people are not along and fighting the good fight when we need all of us, like, all of us\n22 - so visibility, for me, is the biggest, I’m like “Come on, speak up, speak out, stop trying to be\n23 part of the cis society, and come be in front with us.” Allies as well, but I’m really speaking to\n24 those of the trans community, you need to step out and stop trying to be a part of the cis\n25 society. You’re not cis.\n26 AJ: Yeah. Yeah.\n27 TS: You’re not. Like, I hate to say it, as much as we’re all trying to fight to be part of the cis society,\n28 we’re not. We’re just not. We’re a different breed.\n29 AJ: Yeah. We’re unique.\n30 TS: We’re a different breed! Like, we - and I’ll always say better - better than the cis society. Like,\n31 why would you want to be a part of a form that you’re told these are your only two gender\n32 roles? And you have to live by these gender roles? Why? You’re in the trans community, you\n33 already were a gender role that you were forced, and now you get to authentically be yourself!\n34 Why go back and try to fit into that other gender role, knowing you don’t fit in?\n35 AJ: Right. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah.\nTygra Slarii 24\nThe Transgender Oral History Project Tretter Collection in GLBT Studies\nUniversity of Minnesota\nTS: Like, for me, visibility is - well, it’s not on my priority list, but it’s one of the 1 number ones that I\n2 would love to see.\n3 AJ: Okay. Absolutely. Where do you think the community will be fifty years from now?\n4 TS: It’s funny but I think everyone is trans, they just haven’t tapped into that part of they brain. It’s\n5 funny, but there’s - to see that there are thousands upon thousands of people of this trans\n6 community, this is not something new. This is something that’s been happening.\n7 AJ: No. Since the beginning of people on the planet!\n8 TS: If someone was to say Adam and Eve, but - like, this has been happening for years! We’re not\n9 new, we’re just something that wasn’t paid attention to. We were kind of like that role that we\n10 just got to ease on by until we really started to be oppressed, and then we needed to fight to be\n11 un-oppressed, and that’s where the visibility comes in. But I think a great portion of the\n12 population is going to end up being trans.\n13 AJ: Wow. Or at least, maybe become more aware of the fluidity of gender and -\n14 TS: Queer.\n15 AJ: Queer. Right.\n16 TS: Yes. Queer might be the - instead of it being LGBT, maybe it just being queer. Everyone’s just\n17 part of the queer nation.\n18 AJ: Wow. Well, I’m just fascinated that you have joined our community here in Minneapolis.\n19 TS: I’m happy to be here.\n20 AJ: You kind of just picked up everything and made the choice to come to this very cold place. For\n21 love! Right?\n22 TS: Love was not the only reason I came up here!\n23 AJ: Okay! All right.\n24 TS: Though everyone thinks I just high tailed my little tail up here for love, but I plan on going back\n25 to college and I wanted a different scene of drag, and...I think I just overstayed my welcome in\n26 Omaha and it was time for a change.\n27 AJ: Time for a change.\n28 TS: And Minneapolis seems to be that great change.\n29 AJ: Yeah. Well, it seems like you’ve got a lot going on for yourself and a beautiful future ahead of\n30 you. Tygra, is there anything that I didn’t ask you that you want to make sure you say?\n31 TS: I don’t think so. I think we covered all the bases. I’m happy that I got to meet you, and I’m\n32 happy that our friendship is flourishing, and I can’t wait to see where that goes.\n33 AJ: Oh, absolutely. That’s going to continue. Yes.\nTygra Slarii 25\nThe Transgender Oral History Project Tretter Collection in GLBT Studies\nUniversity of Minnesota\nTS: I’m just excited to get to work, pretty much. I think we covered all the bases. I’m 1 just sitting over\n2 here like a nervous little puppy playing with this one knee.\n3 AJ: Okay. Well, I guess I have one more question, cause you’re - I’m sitting there looking at you and\n4 your paint - your makeup, your face, is just flawless. Are you like Beyonce, did you wake up like\n5 this?\n6 TS: This process - it’s a long process, about an hour and a half. Mostly it’s so long because I sit there\n7 and look at myself in the mirror, like, you want to make sure all your lines and everything, so\n8 you’re like…\n9 AJ: So you contour -\n10 TS: Yes. Contour, highlight, the whole nine yards.\n11 AJ: Highlight...you do your brows.\n12 TS: Girl, if you watched me do my brows, you’d be surprised. Everyone’s always surprised when I\n13 show them how I do my brows.\n14 AJ: Okay.\n15 TS: Because I don’t use Anastasia Beverly Hills brow - I use a sharpie. And everyone’s like, really?\n16 AJ: A sharpie?!\n17 TS: A sharpie. A brown sharpie. It don’t look like no sharpie, do it?\n18 AJ: No...does it wash off?\n19 TS: Yup. But it gives me the aesthetic that I want, you know. I like my brows to be predominant, I\n20 like them to stand out, I don’t like them to sweat off. So I use a sharpie. It’s just easy.\n21 AJ: Okay. Wow! That’s fascinating!\n22 TS: Easy beautiful trans girl!\n23 AJ: Easy beautiful trans girl. I love it I love it I love it.\n24 TS: Slogan!\n25 AJ: Yes. All right dear, well, I really appreciate the opportunity to sit here and talk with you for an\n26 hour and - until we meet again!\n27 TS: I give it two weeks!\n28 AJ: Peace.\n29 TS: Love it.", "_version_": 1710339103081365504, "type": "Moving Image", "collection": "p16022coll97", "is_compound": false, "parent_id": "183", "thumb_url": "https://cdnapisec.kaltura.com/p/1369852/thumbnail/entry_id/0_1r3ckah7", "thumb_cdn_url": "https://dkp5i0hinw9br.cloudfront.net/ccaeaade1b1bf3a04286cc0829301ef28d39031c.png", "children": [ ] }